I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
