69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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