He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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