How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
