I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
