Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
