1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Little spoons don't ask big questions
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
