covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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