dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
