tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
