I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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