i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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