I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
