i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
