whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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