Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
