I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
