why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
