i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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