Who wears a wallet chain?!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
