If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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