His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
