you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Pants are for mortals
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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