I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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