After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
