Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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