In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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