Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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