fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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