If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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