I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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