I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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