You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
