And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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