I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
