So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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