my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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