Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
