Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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