you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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