I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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