She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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