So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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