Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
