so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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