i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
