I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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