She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
