Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
