i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
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