when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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