I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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