Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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