Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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