you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
