Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Randomize
