He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
